Speechless

Sam's Advice.  We're getting a lot of it lately. 

It's actually pretty cool to see him digesting information and wanting to share it, but whenever we here "Here's a tip,"  a phrase he borrowed from Lee Woodruff at the Craft Table for Family Fun, we know we're in for a valuable insight into  Sam's word.  

For instance, Katarina and Sam enrolled in some extracurricular classes at the local school.  Out of Sam's offerings they fit him into the Junior Chef Class.  Katarina got placed in a Tennis class.  Based on Sam running into my office and asking, "Which is a more important skill to have:  tennis or COOKING (which you have to do every day)," I'm thinking Sam's pretty excited about the class.  He came home from his first day and said, "Here's a tip - if you cry when you chop an onion, rinse it under cold water for a while and it'll take some of the crying sting away."

Anabelle, under the great 'I want someone else's hair' curse, wants me to apply shiny hair elixir to her curls immediately after bathing in hopes of getting straight hair like sister.  Sam, seeing me about to apply the goop, held up one finger.  "Here's a tip," he began, "if you leave your hair without that stuff it looks more like a real woman's hair."

Except, Sam pronounces woman as "Whoa, man."  Admittedly, some kids' terms are too adorable to change like when Katarina genuinely thought the computer was called the 'Complicator' and the refrigerator dubbed the 'fridge for later.'  This, however, I did try to correct.  But it's no use.  In sam's head it's 'Whoa, man.'  If he keeps it for life, I can't help but imagine how his future wife will smile whenever he uses this term.  Sounds almost equivalent to 'Hey, Baby' to me.  But I digress... 

So, today we had homemade pizza, and as a treat I made Italian sodas for the kids.  I happened to leave the whip cream out and Katarina used her stealth movement to try to snag a quick spray-into-the mouth whipped action.  Luckily, the eyes in the back of my head spotted such devious movements and shut her down.  "What?!?" she protested.  "Dad does it."

"Well, when you're paying bills and buying groceries, you can do that too."  

She harrumphed, and Sam raised a finger... 

"Here's a tip... when you're a singular woman (whoa-man), you should probably have a lot of fun and do whatever you want..."

My mouth literally fell open.  "Oh? Is that so? And why is that?"

He grinned slyly.  "Because after you're a singular woman (whoa-man), you'll probably get a husband and then you'll have to share and he'll probably want you to go on dates and then you'll probably have a baby..."

"But Sam!  Those are good things!"

Sam continues as if I haven't spoken ,"But then after you have babies they'll probably start being crazy like Zoe and Hammie in Baby Blues.  So if you're a singular woman (whoa-man) that's when you should drink out of the whipped cream can."

Speechless.  That's what I am.